Use of Nonverbal Communication

Much of what people communicate to one another is transmitted with nonverbal communication. Examples include facial expressions, body language, head movements, and tone of voice, to name just a few. Some nonverbal acts, called attending behaviors, are particularly important in connecting with another person during a coordinated interaction like negotiation; they let the other know that you are listening and prepare the other party to receive your message. We discuss three important attending behaviors: eye contact, body position, and encouraging.

Make Eye Contact

Dishonest people and cowards are not supposed to be able to look people in the eye. Poets claim that the eye is the lens that permits us to look into a person’s soul. These and other bits of conventional wisdom illustrate how important people believe eye contact to be. In general, making eye contact is one way to show others you are paying attention and listening and that you consider them important. Of course, it is possible to listen very well even when not looking at the other person; in fact, it may be easier to look away because you can focus on the spoken words and not be confused by visual information. But the point is that by not making eye contact, you are not providing the other person with an important cue that you are engaged and listening.

When persuading someone, it is important to make eye contact when delivering the most important part of the message. Having the verbal and nonverbal systems in parallel at this point emphasizes the importance of the message that is being sent. Also, one should maintain eye contact not only when speaking but when receiving communication as well. It is important to recognize, however, that the patterns described here are characteristic of Western society. In other parts of the world, different patterns prevail. ln some Asian societies, for example, keeping one’s eyes down while the other is speaking is a sign of respect.