4 Financial and Investing Questions to Ask Before Marriage

Masood Vojdani

You may think you know everything about your husband or wife-to-be, but a surprising number of couples haven’t discussed money and finances before tying the knot.

Just as you should discuss topics like work, children, and religion, it is absolutely critical to have an open and honest conversation about money. Although talking about your financial history can be awkward, it is essential for future spouses to put all of their cards on the table and discuss things like assets and debts, what they will do with their finances in the event the relationship ends, and what they hope to achieve financially over their lifetime.

A difficult conversation at the beginning will always be better than a financial battle after the honeymoon.

Here are four questions to ask your significant other in order to build an open, honest and strong partnership.

What is your attitude toward money?

Money means different things to different people. For example, individuals can view it as a tool to achieve the life they desire, a symbol of status or success, or simply a way to obtain the bare necessities. Knowing how your partner views money will help you understand how and why they make important financial decisions related to saving and spending, investments, and goal-setting. This can help reduce arguments down the road, and will likely encourage you and your partner to be continually open about the way you think about and use money.

What are your long-term financial goals?

Couples should be on the same page when it comes to their long-term financial plan and objectives. Do you hope to buy a primary home in the next five or ten years and a vacation place after that? How much do you want to have saved for retirement? Do you aim to pay for your children’s and grandchildren’s education? In an ideal world, all your goals will be aligned, but if some of them aren’t, discuss whether there are ways to compromise or agree on how you will prioritize them.

Once you have outlined your long-term goals, create a plan to achieve them. This could include steps such as creating (and following) a budget, opening a new investment account, or contributing more to your retirement plan. While unexpected market events and expenses will inevitably arise throughout the years, it will always be important to keep your long-term financial plan in focus.

Do you have debt and what is your plan to overcome it?

There are far too many horror stories about someone finding out after the wedding day that his or her partner is carrying a large amount of debt. It’s critical for you and your significant other to openly discuss not only your assets, but also your debts. In addition, you should discuss who will be responsible for paying it down. Will the person who owes money on a credit card, home, or student loan take sole responsibility for eliminating the debt, or will the other person help tackle it?

If your partner isn’t receptive to having an open and honest conversation with you about all aspects of money, particularly their financial background, you should consider this a very concerning red flag.

Is a prenup a smart option?

If you’re getting married for the first time and haven’t yet amassed significant assets, you don’t necessarily need to get a prenuptial agreement. But if you have already accomplished a significant amount from a financial perspective, you should have an open conversation with your partner about the merits of a prenup.

While it can be difficult (and not very romantic) to talk about what could happen in the event of a divorce, a prenup is often considered the prudent choice. It not only protects your assets, but also can help you avoid taking on your partner’s debt, determine how assets will be distributed after your death, assess how you split your finances and, ideally, lessen the costs of expensive divorce proceedings in court should you choose to separate. A prenup is especially important to consider if you or your partner have been married previously, if you have children, if either of you have a business, and if you are bringing significantly more wealth into the marriage than your partner.

Sit down with your future spouse to have a loving, open and practical conversation. If you’re worried about him or her being offended or you are having trouble coming to an agreement, consider speaking about it together with a marriage counselor or financial advisor.

Hopefully you’ll find that money questions don’t always have to be scary or difficult. In the end, a partnership built on trust and honesty is always beneficial for building a strong financial future together.