Revealed: The Office Jargon We Love to Hate

 

If you think it’s a no-brainer to touch base for some blue-sky thinking because you’re on a journey that could be a game-changer, then you might possibly be one of the most annoying people in the world. Or the most annoying in your office at least.

 

A study has revealed the most hated workplace phrases. The list does not make comfortable reading for fans of English. Clunky metaphors abound and there are enough Americanisms to keep even Donald Trump happy.

 

“Touch base” was voted the most grating followed by “blue-sky thinking”, according to the survey by Glassdoor, the jobs website.

 

For readers unacquainted with the corporate world, touching base means to catch up on a subject. It comes from baseball where players must touch a base to remain in. Blue-sky thinking means to think with imagination.

 

The expression “thought shower”, which is now commonly used in place of brainstorm for fear of offending epileptics, also made the most-hated list.

 

“Punch a puppy” came in at 11th place. It means to do something unsavoury for the good of the company and is particularly popular among bankers. Staff who object to such practices will most likely be invited to “get off the bus”, which means leave.

 

The inventors of office jargon are unknown. However, most phrases originate in the US and are influenced by sports, the military and technology.

 

Simon Horobin, of Magdalen College, Oxford, said: “Lots of management speak is based upon sports metaphors: to be on the ball, drop the ball, the ball’s in your court, etc. I suspect part of the reason is there’s something appealing in making office life sound like the glamorous world of athletics. And by invoking sport, we’re tricked into thinking time at work is an extension of our leisure time.

 

“The success of these phrases is an indication of how we use language as a way of signalling we belong. Another feature is their lack of specificity, which is a useful way of sounding as if you know what you’re talking about when you don’t.”

 

Phrases to Park

 

Touch base: to meet or talk about an issue

 

Blue-sky thinking: creative thinking without limits

 

We’re on a journey: suggesting that a team has yet to reach its objective

 

Game-changer: a product, idea or process that represents a significant shift in thinking

 

No-brainer: something that is obvious or clearly a good idea

 

Thought shower: an alternative to brainstorm, or meeting to share ideas

 

Run it up the flagpole: presenting a new idea to gauge reaction

 

If you don’t like it, get off the bus: implying a colleague should quit if they are unhappy

 

Mission statement: published by companies to state their purpose

 

Pick it up and run with it: to take over a colleague’s work limits