二、语言表达符合译入语规范和习惯

准确表达原文思想内涵是政治文献翻译的第一要义，但是，在此基础上，还应尽量做到语言表达流畅，符合译入语的语言规范和习惯，以使国外受众更易于阅读、理解和把握文献的思想内涵。对于政治文献的翻译来说， 特别是对于英语非母语的译者来说，这也许是更大的挑战。通过《中国关键词》的翻译实践，我们认为在政治文献翻译过程中，似可在以下几个方面做出努力：

（一）按照英语习惯处理中文特有意合结构

一般认为中文是意合型语言，经常用并列结构，各个成分之间的关系不必在形式上标明，同时形式上并列的成分在意义上经常不一定并列；而相比之下，英语是形合为主的语言，语言各成分之间的关系一般都在形式上标明，意义上不能并列的成分一般不予作为并列关系排列。因此，中文里十分常用的并列结构经常不能照搬到英语里。例如：

1. 其目的就是要解放和发展生产力，实现国家现代化，让中国人民富裕起来。

【原译】All this was designed to liberate and develop productive forces, modernize the country and make the Chinese people prosperous.

在以上例子里，中文用了三个动宾词组，表面上看三者是并列关系，似乎我们要做三件不同的事情，而实际上这三件事情相互密不可分。翻译时如果放弃原文的并列结构，能更加有效地传递原文的信息。

【改译】Aimed at dismantling the economic straitjacket and unlocking the growth potential, the reform program put China on a path to modernization and prosperity.

2. 市场决定资源配置是市场经济的一般规律，健全社会主义市场经济体制必须遵循这条规律，着力解决市场体系不完善、政府干预过多和监管不到位问题，推动资源配置依据市场机制实现效益最大化和效率最优化。

【原译】 It is a general rule of market economies that the market determines the allocation of resources. To improve its socialist market economy, China must follow this general rule, establish a robust market, control excessive government intervention, address insufficient government oversight, and ensure that resources are allocated in the marketplace most effectively and efficiently.

中文原文“必须”后面用了三个并列的动宾结构。在第二个动宾结构中，另有三个貌似并列的词组（主谓词组），即“市场体系不完善”“政府干预过多”和“监管不到位”。由于作者用了“着力解决……问题”的结构来涵盖这三个问题，所以也可以将其视为另外三个并列的动宾结构，即“着力解决市场体系不完善问题”“着力解决政府干预过多问题”和“着力解决监管不到位问题”。原译文的译者就是这样看待这种结构的，在译文用了五个并列的动宾词组。但在英语里有些成分不宜并列，如 control excessive government intervention和address insufficient government oversight，这两者在意思上是矛盾的。既然是矛盾的，这种矛盾关系在形式上就需要予以反映，需要有转折（以转折符号来显示），而不应以并列形式存在。另外，原文里最后的动宾结构（“推动资源配置依据市场机制实现效益最大化和效率最优化”）虽然表面上看似乎与其他词组并列，实际上可以被看成是前面动作的目的或结果。根据这一分析，我们似乎可翻译如下：

【改译】A general rule embraced by market economies, the preeminence of the market in allocating resources should also be a feature of our socialist market economy. To this end, efforts should include building a robust market, and rolling back excessive government intervention while also addressing insufficient government oversight in some areas, so as to promote the market’s role in maximizing the effectiveness and efficiency in resource allocation.

3. 中国实施创新驱动发展战略，就是要推动以科技创新为核心的全面创新，坚持需求导向和产业化方向，坚持企业在创新中的主体地位，发挥市场在资源配置中的决定性作用和社会主义制度优势，增强科技进步对经济增长的贡献度，形成新的增长动力源泉，推动经济持续健康发展。

【原译】 To implement the strategy of innovation-driven development, China will promote overall innovation, particularly scientific and technological innovation, remain demand-driven and industrialization-oriented, ensure that enterprises play the principal role in innovation, let the market play the decisive role in allocating resources, and take full advantage of the socialist system. It will enhance the contribution made by scientific and technological advancements to economic growth, create new engines of growth, and sustain sound economic development.

原文在“就是”后面跟着七个并列的动宾结构，译文把前面五个动宾词组改为六个，后面另起一句，但保留原有的最后三个并列的动宾词组。总体来看，译文基本上沿用了原文里众多并列动宾结构的组合方式。但问题是这些动宾词组从实际意义上讲并不都是并列关系，在英语里如此排列不合逻辑。比如，英语里第一个词组（promote overall innovation）与第二个（remain demand-driven）就无法并列，主语都是China，称China will remain demand-driven是说不通的。另外，从意义上来说，take full advantage of the socialist system也不能被视为是与其他事项平行的事项，所以在形式上也不应保持并列关系。在最后部分，虽然原文有三个并列词组，但三者显然也不是并列关系，后面两项应该是对前一项的进一步说明，所以翻译时保持原有结构是不可取的。

【改译】 China’s innovation-driven development strategy aims at encouraging innovation in all areas, particularly scientific and technological innovation. Innovation should be demand-driven in response to the needs of industrialization. Businesses are major players in delivering innovation, and the market should play the decisive role in allocating resources. The full potential of our socialist system should be explored. The strategy seeks to enhance the contribution of scientific and technological advances to economic growth, which would serve as a new growth driver and help sustain sound economic development.

（二）按照英语习惯调整词语组合及行文安排

翻译的本质就是用另一种符号系统为已经用一种符号系统编制的信息重新编码。所要传递的是信息，而不是编制信息的符号。译者需要在吸收原有信息的基础上，根据新环境的编码规则和习惯再现这些信息。因此，无论在词语或词组层面，还是在分句或句子层面，甚至在语篇层面，都不必紧紧盯住原文的单词、搭配方式、组合方式，而应真正理解消化原文的实质信息。这些信息在译文里的表达完全依据译文的习惯和表达需要。例如：

1. 中国提出的全球经济治理的根本目标是推动经济全球化朝着均衡、普惠、共赢方向发展。

【原译】 The idea of global economic governance proposed by China aims at promoting the growth of economic globalization in the direction of balance, universal benefits and win-win results.

贴字面把“朝着均衡、普惠、共赢方向发展”译成in the direction of balance, universal benefits and win-win results是不通的。“方向”在中文里经常是为了组合文字的需要而用的，本身不包含信息要素，因此不必硬译。

【改译】 The goal of improving global economic governance is, in our view, to transform economic globalization into a balanced, win-win process that bring benefits to all.

2. 摸着石头过河，是富有中国特色、中国智慧、符合中国国情的改革方法。摸着石头过河就是摸规律。对于必须取得突破但一时还不那么有把握的改革，就先行试点，尊重实践、尊重创造，鼓励大胆探索、勇于开拓，取得经验、看得准了再推开。

【原译】Crossing the river by feeling the stones is an approach to reform that is full of Chinese characteristics and wisdom and suits the national conditions of China.

It means trying to figure out the rules and laws in doing something. When a breakthrough is required in the country’s development but people are not sure how to make it happen, the country starts out by conducting trials, respects praxis and creativity, encourages people to boldly explore and break new ground.

Then, when the country has gained experience and is completely clear about how things work, it carries out the reforms across the board.

“摸规律”按字面翻译成figure out the rules and laws不妥当，这里的“规律”与rules and laws毫无关系，“摸规律”实际上强调的就是探索。对于“尊重实践、尊重创造”，把中文搭配方式（respects praxis and creativity）搬到英语里，属生搬硬套。对整段话的处理，我们无法也不必追求“一个萝卜一个坑”，不必照搬中文语序，在把握各个基本要素的基础上，词语的组合及句型的安排完全根据英语表达的需要而定。

【改译】Crossing the river by feeling for stones is a distinctly Chinese approach to reform, one that embodies Chinese wisdom in addressing issues specific to contemporary China. It calls for prudence in feeling our way forward in unfamiliar territory, and testing the waters before a major course of action aiming at achieving breakthroughs is launched. It encourages innovation, exploration, and trailblazing efforts, while at the same time emphasizing the importance of identifying and promoting best practices on the basis of lessons learned.

3. 中国主动适应并积极参与世界格局变革调整进程，以负责任大国形象展现在世人面前。

【原译】China is adapting itself to and actively participating in changes to the world order and has the image of a responsible big power.

中文原文在表面上似乎谈两件事情，但所涉含义相互交融，不可分割。当我们谈到“负责任”（responsible）时，我们需要与以此方式从事的活动（即参与国际事务）挂钩，不能高空悬挂着。中文里可以这样说，这是中文的语言特点（意合型）决定的，在英语里各个语言成分之间的关系需要明确。另外，在此语境里把“形象”直译成has the image of不妥。第三个值得商榷的问题是“大国”的译法，原文确实用了这两字，但在译文里有没有必要一定要自称big power呢？我们认为，在外宣场合最好避免这样说。

【改译】China is also adapting to an evolving world landscape, and actively participates in global affairs as a responsible member of the international community

（三）注意译文的逻辑及连贯性

中英文保持逻辑与连贯性的方式不尽相同，在中文里合乎逻辑的排列方式照搬到英语里不一定都有逻辑性。所以翻译时还得根据英语习惯视需要加以调整。

1. 当今世界，人类生活在不同文化、种族、肤色、宗教和不同社会制度所组成的世界里，各国人民形成了你中有我、我中有你的命运共同体。

【原译】We live in a world with different cultures, ethnic groups, skin colors, religions and social systems, and the people of all countries have become members of an intimate community with a shared destiny.

中文里用的是两个在形式上相互独立的分句，以上译文沿用这一句式，也用了两个分句，似乎在谈论两件互不相干的事情。但从逻辑上来看，这两点不是自成体系的，彼此之间应该有一种让步关系。这种关系在中文里经常不必在形式上标明，但英语里罗列互不相干的两点是没有意义的，两者的关系需要明确，这样行文才能连贯。

【改译】While the world we inhabit is charac-terized by diversity in terms of culture, ethnicity, skin colors, religions and social systems, people across the world increasingly find themselves in a community with a shared future, with their interests interlocked.

2. “简政”，即解决机构职能交叉、政出多门、人浮于事、相互掣肘的现象，解决社会公共产品和服务提供不足、行政效率低下的问题。“放权”，则是解决对经济活动审批过多、审批程序复杂、审批周期长效率低的问题，解决政府管了一些不该管的事情、一些该管的事情却没管好的问题。

【原译】Streamlining administration means solving the problems of government having overlapping functions, being overstaffed and impeding each other, and the problems of an inadequate supply of social public goods and services and low government efficiency.

Delegating more power to lower-level governments means solving the problems of subjecting too many economic activities to government approval, having complicated approval procedures and taking too long to approve them, and solving the problems of the government managing things it should not manage and poorly managing things it should manage.

值得讨论的有下列几个问题：第一，对于中文里的“解决……问题”，我们不一定非要译成solving the problems不可，此处这样译并非不可以，但没有必要，如果不用solving the problems，行文可更加干净利索。“解决……问题”在中文里经常起帮助句子组合的作用，本身不带实质信息，省略不译不会影响译文的准确性。第二，impeding each other的说法是没有逻辑性的，因为前面没有提到可以impeding each other的两个或多个事物。动作主体只能是government或the problems of government，无论指何者都是说不通的。

【改译】Streamlining government aims at eliminating overstaffing and consolidating duplicate or overlapping - and often mutually interfering - government functions, so as to better address such problems as the inadequate provision of social public goods and services and the poor efficiency of the work of the government. Delegating authorities is intended to cut red tape that subjects an unnecessarily extensive array of business activities to a complex and lengthy government approval process. Such a move should free the government from unwarranted reach into areas it had better stay away from to focus on what really falls within its purview, especially duties it is supposed to perform but has not performed adequately.

3. 随着中国的发展和进步，全国各地城乡基层民主不断扩大，公民有序的政治参与渠道增多，民主的实现形式日益丰富。

【原译】As China develops and progresses, both urban and rural areas throughout the country are enjoying more and more community-level democracy, the number of channels through which Chinese citizens participate in politics is increasing and there is ever-greater democracy.

译文里以并列方式列举了三点：第一点是more and more community-level democracy，第二点是the number of channels through which Chinese citizens participate in politics is increasing，第三点是there is ever-greater democracy。但这三点并列是不合逻辑的，尤其是第一点与第三点。根据逻辑，第一点应该包含在第三点之内，因为第三点谈的是民主的总体状况，而第一点是谈community-level democracy。既然在逻辑上这三者是这样的关系，在表达时就应反映这种关系，而绝对不能并排堆砌。

原文第三点是“民主的实现形式日益丰富”，重点在于“实现形式”，这与ever-greater democracy有较大的差距。如果在翻译时力求体现原文里第三点的本意，那么这三点并列就是正常的。

【改译】China’s increasing prosperity and progress have been accompanied by greater democracy at the community level in both urban and rural areas throughout the country, increased orderly participation of its citizens in political life, and a multiplication of democratic practices.