翻译擂台第5期点评
发布时间:2017年09月02日
发布人:nanyuzi  

【原文】



[1]今年是明代戏剧家汤显祖逝世400周年,也是英国戏剧大家莎士比亚逝世400周年。[2]汤显祖和莎士比亚是两位同时期的世界级戏剧家,在不同的文化背景与生活环境下,同样都创作出了脍炙人口超越时空的剧作。[3]我们是否可以假设,如果400年前也有今天一样发达的通讯和交通,说不定两人会看到彼此的作品,甚至会一见如故,相见恨晚,成为最好的朋友。

——叶长海,《人民日报》


汤显祖与莎士比亚,两位东西方戏剧大师,原本并无关系,却因同在400年前(1616年)去世而联系在了一起,以至联合国都发起了对他们的系列纪念活动。


两位的才华难分伯仲,但作品数量却相差很大。汤氏活了66岁,只有戏剧5部,而莎翁52岁早逝,却留下37部戏剧及154首十四行诗等。原因很简单:前者心系官场,视戏剧为末节;后者身在梨园,把此职当正事。然而留给后世的,哪个更有价值?年代越久,看得越清楚。


[1]中,“400周年”应为序数词(-th),而非一般数字;“戏剧家”许多人用了playwright,该词原本与dramatist意思相近,但近年多用于电影剧本作家,而后者则保留了传统涵义(而且与dramas相对应);“逝世”指的是二位,故可合并译出;而中国历史朝代后面应注明年代,以使读者有时间概念。下面为一典型参赛译文:


This year {2016} is the 400[th] anniversary of [the] Ming Dynasty playwright Tang Xianzu's death {and also the 400 anniversary of} the British dramatist [William] Shakespeare's {death}. (注:{ }内为可删去或不应重复的,[ ]内为应增加的部分。)


实则,不妨译为:This year marks the four hundredth anniversaries of the deaths of both Chinese Tang Xianzu of the Ming Dynasty (1368-1644) and British William Shakespeare...


[2]中,“同时期的”,许多人用了the same period / of the same historical period / in the same time等,其实contemporary不只是“当代的”,而且是同代的(alive or existing at the same time as a particular person or event);“在不同的文化背景与生活环境下”,许多人译成Under different/diverse cultural backgrounds and living environments,固然不错,但略显死板(如“在……下”不一定总是under... ,“不同”亦非永远为different、diverse等);“生活环境”,有的用了ecological setting,似乎很合现在的环保理念,但此处似有过之,而ambience可以考虑,该词从法语ambiant(surrounding)而来,有古典色彩;“脍炙人口”,译成enjoy great popularity / appeal to most people等固然不错,但考虑到两位跨东西方的界度,win universal praise似更切宜。另外,在语序上,此句翻译时亦不妨根据中文的习惯有所调整。


考察历史,发现最早将汤氏和莎翁相提并论的,竟然是上世纪30年代的日本汉学家青木正儿在其《中国近世戏曲史》中的表述:“东西曲坛伟人,同出其时,亦一奇也……”翻译出来:“两位伟人虽同时出现于东西方戏剧界,(素昧平生,)却共为人类文化的奇葩……”——这可谓为二人安排的首次跨时空“握手”。


在英汉对比研究中,学术界一般将英语定义为“形合”(Hypotactic),即其句子成分之间主要靠语言形式手段(如关联词等)相连接;中文是“意合”(Paratactic),即词语或子句之间不用语言形式,而是通过逻辑关系和内在涵义相整合。于是,在翻译上便有了明显的增、减、整的现象。典型的例子如:①“When the pressure gets low, the boiling point becomes low.”译成中文时,可省去介词、动词等——“气压低,沸点就低。”;②“求职者,会说英语的优先录取。”译成英文时,则需加上代词、助词、介词等——“Job applicants who can speak English would receive preference over those who can't.”。


故此,不妨将[1][2]以语言形式(如同位语、代词、动名词、介词等)整合起来:This year marks the four hundredth anniversaries of the deaths of both Chinese Tang Xianzu of the Ming Dynasty (1368-1644) and British William Shakespeare, two contemporary world class dramatists who created their dramas that have been winning universal praise transcending time and space, based on their own living ambiences and cultural backgrounds.


[3]中,见到“假设”,很多人用了assume,但仔细推敲,该词的原义为“to accept that something is true without checking or confirming it; accept without verification or proof”,即是一种推测,现更多用于学术上未经证实的个案或命题;而“如果”很容易与if联在一起。其实,表示虚拟语气,还可将谓语中的过去式had、should、were等移至主语前,如:①Had he been in your position, he would probably have done the same.(他若处在你的位置,也会这样做的。)②I will go, should it be necessary.(有必要的话,我会去的。)③Were you to argue, object, and annoy me for a year, I would not agree with you.(你就是争吵、对抗、烦扰我一年,我也不会同意的。)故此句起码可以用这三种表现形式,如:had they... / should they have / were they provided with...等。更确切而言,这里的“假设”实为“想象”(imagine),如:We can well image that / Imaging that / It catches imagination of...等。语气更强的则为fire imagination(激发想象),如:Stories of adventure fire Tom's imagination.(冒险故事激发了汤姆的想象力。)故此处不妨译为“It should fire our imagination that...”。


 “相见恨晚”,此处的“恨”不是现代汉语的“憎恨”,而是古汉语的原义,“恨,怨也”(《说文》),即遗憾、悔恨,英文为regretful、regretdeeply、pity、sorry等。有参赛者译成“they regretted not to have known each other much earlier / the two masters would have hit it off and regretted their missing / were only feeling regretful not to have met much sooner”等,都不乏创意,问题是如何更好地将其整合在句子和篇章之中。的确,如果先译出了“一见如故”,似乎又不好加入regret之意,但将其置后,补充说明,不失为一种表达技巧。例如参赛译文:


Shall we assume that {400 years ago}, if there had been telecommunications and {means of} transportation as advanced as those in modern time, {Tang Xianzu and Shakespeare} might have chance to read each other’s works and even become fast friends at their first meeting {as if they had known each other for quite along time}, only to regret meeting each other too late.


应当说,隔离来看,此段译文大体可以接受,但结合篇章,{ }里的内容似有可精简或改进之处。


故此,综合考虑,该段不妨译为:It should fire our imagination that had they communication and transportation as advanced as we have today, the two giants might have read each other’s works, or even become old acquaintances and best friends at their first meeting – regrettably, they didn’t.


此外,参赛译文中还有一些语法错误,如过去式、完成时、虚拟语的运用等,属基本功问题,不妨做些针对性补课,以利日后参赛。


顺便而言,两位戏剧大师的创作精神其实极其相似:汤氏褒扬个性,痛挞腐朽摧残;莎翁悲天悯人,极富人文情怀。然而,他们在世界上的影响却不可同日而语。除了其他因素,显然也与翻译有关。